


In Retrospect

by Mareel



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Episode Related, Episode: s02e03 Minefield, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-11
Updated: 2013-03-11
Packaged: 2017-12-04 23:51:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/716485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mareel/pseuds/Mareel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Realizations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Retrospect

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place immediately following the events of "Minefield". The first part is Malcolm's voice and the second is Jonathan's. This is pre-relationship.

 

I can’t sleep. Today’s scene on the hull keeps replaying as an endless loop in my mind. 

The theme that echoes is whether I had any better ideas… about talking the Captain through disarming the mine, about the critiques he urged me to offer regarding ship’s operations and his command style… And about how to ensure the ship’s safety when the mine reactivated. 

Taking myself out of the picture to ease his decision seemed the best option to me at the time. I hadn’t counted on his refusal to allow the sacrifice. 

Safe in the launch bay, in Jonathan’s arms, I knew he had the better idea. 

Now… I’m not so sure. 

I’m afraid of what we just began. And confessing this fear will be more difficult than telling him of my aquaphobia. Drowning… dying… is relatively simple. 

Living with what I suddenly felt between us will be much harder.

 

________________________________________

 

Today has been a study in contrasts. Breakfast with Malcolm was supposed to be a beginning, a chance to get to know one another. But even before the interruption, it was clear that wasn’t going to happen.

Pinned to the hull, he went from smiles and gallows-humor to sharing his deepest fears… yet I was caught completely unprepared for his attempted heroics. I’d taken his candor as a step forward. Coming so close to losing him was terrifying. 

Then everything shifted again. Somehow I knew he trusted me to save us both, trusted enough to let me try. Without speaking of it, I was certain he wouldn’t disconnect his airhose again.

Safely back inside, the man I held close was light years from Malcolm at breakfast. It was as if he’d chosen to drop everything he’d been hiding behind – I saw past it all in his eyes.

For the moment.

 


End file.
